Trevor Blake in his analysis of a recently published (by Underworld Amusements) edition of the personal detail of Wallace E. Baker’s decline characterized the man as a “failed egoist”. In that it is akin to my idea of Neurotic Nihilism. Baker was a young man in the early twentieth century with an intrigue into the existential. A writer interested in all the usual trappings; biology, philosophy, sociology— with an aversion to algebra. Much of his diary is not dissimilar from my own records.
His personal details and similarities, make it hard to agree with the characterization of a failed egoist. Baker was undoubtedly, and as evident in his writings a sensitive soul; noting that for example in his use of vices where not as a general habit but what a Jewish Rabbi explained as being because they are “too raw for this world.” and in that get sucked into vices, “just to be able to handle regular life.” While most people get into habits out of genuine and sincere assimilation, just to have a good time; whereas for someone like Baker, it seems that rawness led to what Terror Management Theory would call (in so many other words) ego fulfillment.
Baker tried to assimilate whereas while tougher, adaptation would have suited better. He did everything that could be done, to ensure he stayed doing the same things that caused his spiral. Circle back to what the Rabbi said and, “it’s a Great Big White World…” with Marilyn Manson creeping his claws in, as usual.
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Mechanical Animals is the second album released in the Tryptich and in that succession symbolizes rebirth. Songs like Great Big White World or New Model namely emblematic for the Neurotic Nihilism prospect as it currently gets considered. Not dissimilar to what Nikolas Schreck once stated— not being the first or last but who I heard it characterized in this manner from— noting we are essentially reborn all the time; from when we wake up to the body’s cellular system being completely changed after a 7 year period (and constantly). Great Big White World represents that raw, naive and blinding existence, what Baker writes of. New Model is the recognition of the superficialities of personal identity— value through vices…
“I’m the new, I’m the New New Model, I got nothing inside/ Better in the head and in bed at the office; I can suck it in and smile… I can choke and diet on coke/ I’m spun and I know that I’m stoned and rolling/ Lifelike and poseable; Hopeless and disposable.”
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The word I keep searching for is Pragmatism. Prison is in the mind, imaginary lines in the sand, as Charlie Manson once explained. Wherein Baker’s issue lay was one all too common: the expectation that thought and small bits of doing would lead to instantaneous and grand results. Rarely, if ever are things so fairy tale.
I’m trying to differentiate myself a lot and remove myself from Baker in this. But, then again the thesis of this all is “What’s a good Nietzschean without Neurotic Nihilism?” and with Nietzsche representing a major flavor and influence in Egoism, as well as what Baker strived for.
Environment has rapidly changed since the early twentieth century. What is of value, is the consistent spirit of it all. Though it is complete cowardice and a failure in egoism in life; as Terror Management Theory could posit, that in not pleading for pity and committing his act as means of that ego fulfillment, what it seems is like me he just wanted to be fucking heard, understood and engaged with. His vice in that regard (whereas mine is the polar opposite) was a seeming hypersexuality, as it would be now called. I think why I didn’t actually finish my reread is, aside it being a reread, it is an example of a mirror. A muse of sorts.
Attempting to assimilate when adaptation, though more difficult, was his job was where Baker fucked himself over. In that, he is a failed egoist. There is as aforementioned, more nuance to be taken to it though. He was, in essence just trying to survive and couldn’t figure out how live up to his own standards. It is unfortunate, but the way it is.
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