Down the Rabbit Hole & Over The Rainbow

OAUG Research Notes

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a bottle on it ("which was certainly not there before," said Alice), and tied around the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed on it in large letters.
It was all very well to say "Drink Me," but wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," she said, " and see whether it's marked 'poison' or not"; for she had read several stories about children who had got burnt, eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules her friends had taught her...
However, this bottle was not marked "poison," so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice... she very soon finished it off.
[...]
And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden.

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found a very small cake, on which the words "EAT ME" were beautifully marked in currents.
[...]
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

The bottle shrank Alice down to less than a foot while the cake grew her incredibly tall— 9 feet, to which she only shrank again as a result of tears.

I think there's some connection here in a few areas: the rabbit hole is like the tornado in the Wizard of Oz as in Carrol's book it leads to Wonderland just as the natural disaster brings Dorothy to the land of Oz. To the point of poison then, it's somewhat akin to The NeverEnding Story II.

Where this comes into Marilyn Manson is mostly twofold; as One Assassination Under God has been likened as 'Eat Me, Drink Me fully realized', an album characteristically based on the story of Alice In Wonderland mixed with Nabikov's Lolita, sort of similar to the 1976 pornographic adaptation of Lewis Carrol's books Alice In Wonderland - An X-Rated Fantasy, with the added elements of vampirism and high ends of low in obsessive love and loss; but in regards to the Wizard Of Oz there's the allusions to the story in the title track of Chapter One with, "just monkey's will be left to fly," and then the poppy field imagery in the music video for the lead single As Sick As The Secrets Within. 

The key to the garden's tiny door, maybe sort of similar to the beginning lines of Lucifer's Teardrop on Chapter Two, though that would seem to harken back more to Deep Six from The Pale Emperor... At the same time however, it's also a song (Lucifer's Teardrop) that could be seen in the lense of Oz, a trickster like those characters focused on in the Portrait Of An American Family era. Lucifer is somewhat likened or analagous to Loki, a trickster entity from a certain perspective of viewing these Satans...

Some Conclusions and Further Consideration for more research

Now having finished reading Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, my theory of a parallel to the Wizard of Oz has been proven correct in a certain regard: at the end of Lewis Carrol's first glimpse of this fantastical world of nonsensical logic and overarching card deck royalty, Alice is awoken from this by her sister and it was all merely a dream. This is similar to (at least the film adaptation of) the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy is whisked away to this merry old land of Oz in this tornado, and after an exciting adventure finds her way home to awaken in bed from this dream, having bumped her head during the ordeal of the natural disaster...

Now, I probably should reread the Wizard Of Oz as it's been about a decade since I last went through the pages of that book; I think it was in fifth grade I last did so. But as of now, I will read the second part of Alice's story in Through The Looking-Glass... the title reminds me now of the movie Arthur And The Invisibles.

The pile of books beside by bed shrinks.

Turbulent Talk Shows

I began watching a docuseries from Vice called Dark Side Of The 90s where in its opening episode the topic covered is that of outrageous talk shows like Oprah, Geraldo, Sally Jesse Raphael and most notably on all given accounts being that of The Jerry Springer Show; with the explanation that the only one to really predate this style of tabloid trash TV being Phil Donahue. Now, I can buy into that to a certain degree and understand this series is about the 1990s, however it's a travesty and incorrect to say that Phil Donahue was where credit is due here and that would go to the Father of Combat TV and his Hot Seat: Wally George.

Wally George was the archetypal layout for all of those sensational shouting matches between the host and guests, and including the audience in the racket in the inflammatory interactions. The end of the first episode of the Dark Side Of The 90s makes this even more apparent in his legacy in pointing that this style of television evolved into reality TV that eventually lead to both the 2016 and 2024 US presidential election turnouts with Donald J. Trump's victory in both instances— spoken to in a more derogatory manner than the talk shows and as if The Apprentice star's rise to political prominence was that of some exclusive phenomenon; when Ronald Reagan was also a silver screen star with a somewhat similar flare to Trump in the debates leading to their elections. 

Nonetheless in diagnosing this phenomenon Nikolas Schreck seems to nail it on the head and in a 2013 article he gave the explanation that: 

It was like [Wally] was a microcosm of Hollywood taking over politics. In a way, it could seem harmless or like it was just a joke, but when we were actually in the studio, and Wally was presenting me as a scapegoat for all societal ills . . . the audience was whipped into a genuine frenzy. They did not take it as a joke, and it felt very dangerous to be there. It's easy to think that he was a humorous phenomenon, but it was part of the whole. There was a very violent craziness to the '80s that I don't think Americans can remember exactly how it was. I went to a Ronald Reagan rally in 1984, and I sensed that same inherent violence. You know the novel Lord of the Flies? It reminded me of that.

Schreck was on Wally George's Hot Seat a couple of times, as well as appearing on his radio show for his gothic death rock project Radio Werewolf and in a more recent podcast episode of Parallax Views w/ J.G. Michaels from January 2025 noted that while Wally cemented this archetype for the shows that came about in the 1990s, he was also to a certain extent predated even in that with Joe Pyne. The difference being with the two however was Wally was more idealogical and akin to that style of combat content which grew Ben Shapiro or the now late Charlie Kirk into prominency. It wasn't for some level of deep political thinking or analysis that such was or is popular, but like with Reagan or Trump, in their catch phrases and one-liner insults. 

With that emphasis then that these pieces of tabloid television being what evolved into the expressly disliked president, it seems then that the real reason of excluding George was one in the same: the label of conservative. That being said however and as Schreck expresses in the podcast, it's hard to fully characterise either as being so conservative, and more like snake oil salesmen and showbiz figures. They put on a spectacle and make a good buck off the dupes stupid enough to buy into it; as that would seem almost symptomatic to the American population broadly in this vapidity. 

Evolving from this style and in the more intermediary period of decades, and aside reality TV, came about other similar styles of media. On major networks there were shows like Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher, also transmutating into the shock jock style that came into abroad with Howard Stern which then laid inspiration for the first podcasts like Three Ring Radio; that then leading into the Joe Rogan Experience and the landscape seen accumulated now 40 years after Wally George began.

Stained Grass

This is a short poem somewhat inspired by the lyrics of Marilyn Manson's song Don't Answer The Door. 

This is only a game under stained grass

Frayed bombshell bunker for laymen

Picturesque in frozen frame

Stagnant in time, sinuses bleeding out in real-time

Tears unheard while screaming in vain rhyme schemes

Cruel Concessions

This poem serves as an extension of The Gifts of Emotion and Cruelty. It is not an answer by any means, in either piece of writing; merely observation and exploration. 

Cruelty, hedonistic calamity

Sweet sadistic gift,

Suicidal malignity

Succinct in lasting grief and confused clarity;

Truculent remnants of barbarity,

Severe within mindfully meditated savagery;

Vicious curiosity spoon-fed as eye candy—

Merciless malevolence:

Not necessarily a killing spree;

Fell, foul ferocity—

This is only a game don't you see?

Colosseum cattiness just a car crash—

Scarring intentional incidents and unintended tragedy;

"Off with her head," a royal Red Queen decrees,

Senseless while sensual, who is the enemy?

Satisfaction in cannibalistically inflicted misery:

Emotional enmity guaranteed?

A Small Glimpse Into My OAUG Analysis Study

I have six total pages of notes on the title track for One Assassination Under God alone from the last day now. I think I've got the ultimate analysis brewing; plus the recent addition of You Can't Die Young as an expanded edition to the songs on Chapter 2 now raises the era to totalling 20 songs, as I also include the cover of In The Air Tonight-- not so much As Sick As The Secrets Of (Sleep) though as it's merely a remix of As Sick As The Secrets Within. I'm also considering putting God Is A Weapon, the collaboration with Falling In Reverse, in with it as well seeing as it was made and released within this timeframe and Manson's part in it, while echoing Ronnie Radke's, also seems to sing to other numbers like Meet Me In Purgatory and Enantiomorph...

Under God, Understood by Marilyn Manson

This is just a small fraction of what I have in regards to the title track, One Assassination Under God.

"Some of the inspiration when I was writing the words to this was drawn from a collection I had started building up of images that I identified with. There were a lot of Caravaggio paintings and others of that era, depicting various types of beheadings, executions of all sorts, firing squads. There was one illustration I saw where a horse was tied to each limb of the person they were killing and it ripped the person apart when the horses were set free. There was another one in which a person was sewn into a live animal and then it was set free to run off of a cliff. That one was really disturbing and for whatever reason I really identified with that one. One thing that I did notice though when I was looking at all these images is that it seemed to me that it was less about justice for the crowds of people involved in these things. It was more about the desire to see blood and to see suffering."

Judith Beheading Holofernes, Caravaggio, 1598

Dramatic, cinematic, militaristic as well as melancholic encapsulation of moments past, present and future. Assassination. Assassin-Nation. A nation of assassins. 

I have a bunch more, as I said many pages of notes beyond; this merely serving as a bit of an archive or a teaser to show a bit of it all, sort of like I did with the Unalive notes; but as I already know, in total so far I have much more than anyone else so far and I'm keeping it relatively on the hush beyond much vague alliteration here and there; as it makes more sense altogether, but I can certainly leave clues about some clues can't I. Needless to say with that then, boy-o she's a sain't like Jackie-O. 

The Gifts of Emotion and Cruelty

"Emotions are a gift from our animal ancestors. Cruelty is a gift humanity has given itself."

— Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal s1e6 

This quoted is explained over dinner to an off-duty FBI official Jack Crawford and his wife Bella, to her passive aggressive protests against the dishes prepared by a psychiatric consultant and expert cook Hannibal Lecter for the matter of their inclusion of meat in the dishes he was serving them that evening, insinuating that the methods of obtaining such was more barbarous in acquirement than need be for sustenance to relish. It's an interesting way of phrasing the matter seeing it is an undeniable observation that humans are sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all, though simultaneously not the only animal observed to take what can be characterised as delight in sadistic enactments with other creatures. Dolphins do such with the blowfish, playing and puffing them up then puncturing the sea animal to inhale the potent chemical produced in their inflation, to the effect of what would seem a sort of narcotic; cats toy with their prey, both so as to tire it out as well as in that the performance delivers pleasure chemicals even beyond the simple idea of hunting— it's fun. 

Where this label of cruelty on other animals is dubious is that it's a projected prescription of human attributes onto other species and assuming they're of the same intent; even if the chemical rewards and actions are likenable. It's ascribing a rhyme and reason, for entities we have no way of fully knowing the thoughts (or lack thereof) behind the actions beyond biological impulses. 

For better, worse or whatever the vantage point may be here on these gifts, Captain Jack Sparrow said it best in the third instalment of Pirates Of The Caribbean to Davy Jones at the climax of the movie: cruelty is a matter of perspective. Davy Jones does challenge this assertion, though by enacting his own example of the matter unto those watching him stab Will Turner... And to that end then, what is a gift? A present, or the German word for poison? Both at once? Neither?

Burning Bridges

The Bridge burned. Its flames writhed, rose and settled like a funeral pyre. As such, the event was an inevitable one, preventing the monolithic embalmment seemingly confusing those who thought anything and especially connection, was so set in stone and everlasting.

Crumbling, crumbling,

As if disturbed determining

Thoughts of sitting,

Of yesterday, looking for ongoing reasoning;

Fragrant, vacant coming aloud-

Down and around forgetting;

Perfume and worry in eternal memory

Blaze stagnating as it died down slowly in contrast to the fast inferno it initially engulfed as. There was no way of determining the origin of this destruction as what was once held up now sizzled as it sank into the deep river below. From there the water washed away much of the lighter wreckage and left the heftier bits and what could not be swiftly swept up and away was the seared memory of what burned bright for only a bit while closing the gap between separate shores. There for a little smoke, then here no more. 

[nth untitled]

Fated in faith, lacerated in its wake

Wrought, devastated and bought out in poor taste;

Reframed, Revived, reminiscent of star-studded suicide-

Belated birthday, sucked in and up a flavoured vape,

Lasting in life , limerick and latent;

Framed disarray in scarred faces,

What is a waste?

The Works of Nick Bougas

Nick Bougas, a name relatively without much known about it outside select Satanic or more right wing circles aside an infamous illustration and a well-done film about a prominent friend and collaborative partner. He was born in 1955 to Greek heritage and in the course of 71 years became an invariably interesting character: a succinct documentarian and illustrator with a vocal ability bordering on operatic. Nick had his fingers in many-a-pie and unique artistic life both like and dissimilar to any other. His flare for documentary was not out of the ordinary for the circles within what is deemed as the Aesthetic Terrorist or Art That Kills movement that he has been deemed apart of as he covered underground and then alternative lifestyles, true crime with the typical Charles Manson flare and in that the more crooked aspects and accounts of celebrity culture; but unique to that end as well as the style of portrayal was ultimately letting the camera run and things speak for themselves. Within this sphere of more anti-liberal and against the grain thought he appeared at an infamous performance put on by Radio Werewolf, Boyd Rice/NON and Feral House founder Adam Parfrey known as the 8-8-88 Rally; a seminal mix of Charles Manson fandom, American Front fascism and Satanic flavoured perpetrators. Nick would do works within all these fields via a variety of outlets.

Beginning a documentarian style career in 1980 with an obscure company called Mizzell Films, Bougas would release a short and ahead of its time film, predating the Stonewall events that launched much of the area around gay and lesbian existence into public perception, called Gay Gay Hollywood, then taking a nine year intermission before creating any others. In this period and as noted prior he came into cahoots with the likes of Nikolas Schreck, the Radio Werewolf frontman and Charles Manson biographer, contributing a few pieces of his own art as well as, "the reproduction of a movie poster or two," to the original version of The Manson File; as well as later on in years producing his own movie on the matter. 

Due to this time period as well, low-IQ antisemites smear Nick Bougas’ legacy— something my internet partner in crime notes as unfortunate, given the vast amount of work he actually did. His work is most widely known under the pseudonym A. Wyatt Mann, for the WAR newspaper of Tom Metzger’s White Aryan Resistance, where he drew racial caricatures. The broadest of these, still popularly used and recreated to this day, is the Happy Merchant.

Coming back from his film intermission in 1989, Bougas would do a number of documentaries in the span of less than a decade. Starting this streak he produced a trilogy of mondo films titled Death Scenes. The first in this triptych was narrated by Church of Satan founder Anton Szandor LaVey, as well as scored by its current Magus Peter H. Gilmore who also went on to do the same with the second. In 1994 alongside another serial killer focused piece, Nick did a documentary that served as an exploration of the gay and lesbian underground nightclub scene in LA but most notably a biographical account of The Goddess Bunny (which also serves as the movie name), Sandie Crisp; a transgender woman who had physical disabilities and disfigurement with a tumultuous yet intriguing life, to say the least.

Continuing in the realm of Satanism during the 1990s with another documentary, focusing largely on the personal proclivities and philosophical application of its founder called Speak Of The Devil: The Canon of Anton LaVey. Bougas and LaVey collaborated on a number of different projects together beyond that, creating a compilation album, Celebrities... At Their Worst which is a collection of bloopers from stars ranging in profession and profanity. On the Black Pope's album Satan Takes A Holiday Nick lent melodic vocals to renditions of songs from the 19th and earlier 20th century, most notably Dixie, Here Lies Love and Chloe. On occasion Nick would also draw the covers for editions of The Black Flame publication put out by the Church of Satan. Nick and LaVey would also both, but not together as such, would be on Adam Parfrey's record Deep Inside A Cop's Mind under the moniker of S.W.A.T. where Bougas did vocals for a spooky cover of the John Barry song Thunderball. On top of that all, he would also provide coverart for various acts such as ANTiSEEN's 1994 record Hell; and the 1995 self-titled album by Bloody And The Country Trash Punks.

Beyond his twentieth-century escapades, Nick Bougas stayed relatively secluded in his personal life outside of art. He would, however, provide rare photographs and information from his personal archives to true-crime publications and projects, and occasionally lend his skills in a more official capacity. For the audio version of Alejandro Jodorowsky’s book Psychomagic, he provided the cover art. Beginning in the 1990s, he frequently interacted and collaborated with the proto-hipster Jim Goad, contributing illustrations to the original issues of Goad’s notorious magazine series Answer Me!. In interviews, Goad would describe Nick as a, "prince among men," who would vehemently insist on paying the bill when out to eat. Bougas also helped the Philadelphian republish the series as a full colorized anthology.

On August 22, 2026 at the age of 71 Nick Bougas departed from the known realm of existence as a result of cancer. He is survived by his wife and immortalised as long as Earth and its history exists through his artistic contributions.

Select Bibliography

Petros, George. Art That Kills: A Panoramic Portrait of Aesthetic Terrorism, 1984-2001. Creation, 2007.

Bougas, Nick. Charles Manson Then and Now. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2426948/?_ssoLoop=1. Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

“Flashback 8-8-88: Interview Excerpts from Forthcoming Book ‘Phantoms: The Rise of Deathrock from the L.A. Punk Scene.’” ZEENA Art, http://www.zeenaschreck.com/2/post/2018/08/flashback-8-8-88-interview-excerpts-from-forthcoming-book-phantoms-the-rise-of-deathrock-from-the-la-punk-scene.html. Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

Schreck, Nikolas. "the reproduction of a movie poster or two..." https://www.instagram.com/p/DcbaCdIoVOU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsi=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==. Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

Bougas, Nick. Charles Manson Then and Now. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2426948/?_ssoLoop=1.

 Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

Aes Nihil, John. EXIT Magazine. https://exitmagazine.net/. Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

Barton, Blanche. The Secret Life of a Satanist : The Authorized Biography of Anton LaVey. With Internet Archive, Los Angeles, CA : Feral House, 1992. Internet Archive, http://archive.org/details/secretlifeofsata0000bart.

“The Black Flame (Magazine).” Wikipedia, 16 Aug. 2026. Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Black_Flame_(magazine)&oldid=1369644627.

“Nick Bougas Allmusic.” AllMusic, https://www.allmusic.com/allmusic_updated. Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

Goad, Jim. “Answer Me!” Wikipedia, 10 Sept. 2025. 4 vols. Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Answer_Me!&oldid=1310510441.

“Jim Goad Goes In-Depth on Fuentes, Life & Politics.” Spotify, 28 Sept. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/4BkZ2baf5h6qvJ1KcmzsyK?si=_JwqBJIKTPGMQIjJVYFf6w&utm_source=copy-link.

“Psychomagic, by Alejandro Jodorowsky.” 777was666, https://777was666.bandcamp.com/album/psychomagic. Accessed 25 Aug. 2026.

NARCOTICS

Nicotine, that entrenching flavor

Alcohol with burning allure

Reminiscing on THC’s ecstasy in expanding

Come on sweet simulation, stimulation

Oh so lovely mediation by cluttered cleaning

Tomorrow, tomorrow: against time’s dull contagion

Intrinsically addictive as much as is adoration

Clustered boredom

Sullen serenity in silent yet simultaneously shouting sanity