Ode to Chaos

I wrote this to commemorate the 6th anniversary of what is my favorite album by Marilyn Manson released on this day in 2020: the seminal and unmatched We Are Chaos. I will love this album like there's no tomorrow until the day I die.

Breathing up and beating down

Hurricane blurs like actless blasphemy

From the ashes of cordiality

Rising rewind, a respirator on fire

Chasing what is made away into frame

Bleached finger prints over tattered remains

Of charred lessons in refrain

In the front and to the back

Nagging at my brain

Pushing and pulling; tightrope wire over flame

Inhaling the heavy fumes of tomorrow

Stewing in prior decay

Change with conscious stain

As the record spins on replay

Drowning visions like a lullaby

Rearranged but always reingrained 

Some things crumble while remaining the same;

With no permanence,

Blame is a delusional game

Soaring eagle in the sky,

Crashing like a meteor

In a crow's eye—

A teal spectacle of disintegrating inferno

A tale spoken of on rainy days

Love for the grey while the sun is blocked away

While Prometheus' torch stays unquenched

How many times can it be painted, so many instances to say?

Conjuring calamity, pleasurable insanity

Like a rusty nail lobotomy

But it sounds to amaze

Through ever-constant breakthrough raze

Heroes are overrated and scum overdone

Idols and deified entities just a temporary daze

Light it up with a match to sober haze

Redundant in rhyming rephrase

Pedantic purgatory and soft serving entertainment

Hard hitting and into the mental abyss I gaze

Filled empty in sonic soliloquy 

Alice & Adolescent Morality

Through The Looking-Glass is the sequel and continuation of what started in Lewis Carrol's book Alice's Adventures In Wonderland. This installation, like the last takes place in a dream that the seven and a half year old Alice embarks on a journey within. Blending some prior existing children's tales (like Humpty Dumpty) as well as tweaking some characters from the prior tales in her fantastical dreamscapes; like the Red Queen who is now no longer from a card deck and squawking "off with their head" left and right, but a chess piece as her royal entity. 

That is however, neither here or there for that I'm getting into regarding this story. What fascinated me the most out of the whole tale is a short discussion of morality which occurred between Alice and the twins Tweedledee and Tweedledum. To young Alice they sung a story about a Walrus and Carpenter which included the two catching oysters and eating them.

"I like the Walrus best," said Alice: "because he was a little sorry for the poor oysters.

"He ate more than the Carpenter, though," said Tweedledee. "You see he held the handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many he took: contrawise."

"That was mean!" Alice said indignantly. "Then I like the Carpenter best— if he didn't eat so many as the Walrus."

"But he ate as many as he could get," said Tweedledum.

This exploration of Alice's morality can be viewed in a few different ways. As one person I discussed the matter with sees, it depicts indulging and giving into the temptation of greed as initially, the Carpenter doesn't give into the plan orchestrated by the Walrus. Taking from that and Satanically thinking to this; giving into that greed shouldn't be much of an issue. After all, to quote Church of Satan Magistra Templi Rex Blanche Barton: "…how far you go; there are no parameters. You set those parameters by the consequences that you encounter. You can go as you want with drugs or alcohol or sexual escapades or food indulgence, but there are going to be consequences to that. You push yourself out of your comfort zone […] There’s very little guidance; you have to find your own way; there’s a lot of information that will come at you. You have to find your way through that, and it’s not going to say “NO” to you. It’s going to say “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” and you have to find your way through that.” It's an interesting form of moralism which is depicted; it's more how Alice judges who she prefers based on who caught the least to eat. It's an interesting sort of moralism; and continuing with the satanic theme may be evocative of the essay by Anton LaVey from The Devil's Notebook, Two Wrongs Make A Right: 

There is no such thing as "moral" Right. There is only true Right, the balance of the Natural Law, Lex Talionis, versus acquired Right, bestowed by popular consensus and usage (the rules of the Game). Morality is a human invention conferred by the self-serving interests of the sensuality impoverished.

 We must constantly confront decisions of whether to live by the Law or by the Rules of the Game. Either way will be "Right." Of the two, I always prefer the way of the Law, but it is often riskier and more brutal. The latter -- beating them at their own game -- requires more planning, time, strategy and money. That's why in all issues enforced by false moralisms and specious Rules of the Game but unfettered by legalities I apply my own rule, which is: "There are no rules."

 

If you create a new rule and it takes hold, you have made a Right for yourself, however self-serving. Whatever prevails, overwhelms, holds in thrall, disarms, terrifies, frightens, controls, constrains, enslaves, or otherwise contributes to man's masochistic needs will always be accepted as Right. No amount of lip service to the contrary can eradicate what the past has proven, and the present intensifies.

Alice is a child though; and as Satanic the mind of a child can be seen as, she doesn't have such a level of comprehension towards such a topic as morality. Where this style of child-like thinking can be seen and explored further, and to a similar degree is later on in Through The Looking-Glass when she is divvying up plum cakes between herself, the Lion, the King and Unicorn only to wind up with none left over for herself. In this interaction the Unicorn displays jealousy at not getting as much a serving of the plum cake as the lion, which is seems a parallel to how Alice weighed in on who was better or worse between the Carpenter and Walrus but in an opposite manner, as she showed preference for the one who caught the least rather than most. Oyster and plum cake, the difference in sustenance is there but in the end it does the same job. However the result in this matter more than for the Oyster, is in the attempt at being fair as a child may do, and in such learn that being so equitable can come to a personal detriment and not have any remaining cake for oneself. There's a virtue to selfishness.

AI Doomsday Fantasy

First they proclaimed 2027. Then 2030, and adding another two years after to up it to 2032. Now it's attested that AI could wipe out humanity within a decade. The time scale on this sci-fi end times prophecy keeps moving up and up in years and past, and clearing through supposed milestones. Sure, it's not 2027 yet, but looking around, such a fantasy seems hardly plausible. 

Just this week the predicted year for this commencement has changed at least twice by my count in a very short span of time. This extenuated by a supposed whistleblower on the platform formerly known as Twitter from the Anthropic company, who professed insider knowledge of how these major AI companies are hurtling to a gambled on death sentence and in spite of that, continuing to progress this technology... Now, this comes from a person paying for a blue check mark on an algorithm running on artificial intelligence; and through paying for this status, funds both updating it and the Grok systems advancement. Makes total sense, doesn't it?

What is this if not poorly configured fear-mongering? 

While certainly it's true that the way AI is powered can call in more criticism due to the emitting of frequencies disruptive to wildlife, but what is that doing in that which isn't already done by humans as well? Who builds these power plants and data centers? What is AI truly used for on a widespread level and fed, beyond a steady feed of P. Diddy, Epstein and Charlie Kirk imagery? It feeds the aforementioned algorithms of any platform one can use to complain about it; this is the real world, it isn't the MCU where one just uses the stones to destroy the stones. Do people on some level subconsciously believe in some Transformers: Age Of Extinction scenario where all the pieces of Charlie Kirk media into these databases will, like Megatron into Galvatron, reconfigure and come into a likened Kirkinator to kill all humanity as revenge for his demise?

All is the same as the Doomsday Clock being set back time and time again as it reaches midnight, and what do you know: we're still here. The end of the world doesn't come so suddenly. Even then, the world keeps spinning.

What I really suspect this is, beyond fear-mongering, is ultimately the worry of an apex predatory (humanity) with no competition for its spot in the food chain on being replaced at the top, by their own hand no less. In a way it's likenable to the film adaptation of Rick Yancey's book The 5th Wave where an alien species called 'the Others' eradicate homo sapiens from Earth so as to be able to use it for their own ends; and towards the climax of the movie one of the aliens embodying military Commander Vosch retorts in a soft and simple manner to this claim that humanity would never wipe out another species for this goal, that they have and in fact do exactly that, and have for centuries. 

Even in that however, it's far fetched and the fear of AI is just an easy way to take away fear from the species that we are.

Temporary Ordinary

This is sort of an extension of Burning Bridges. One of the lines takes from a riddle given to Bilbo Baggins by Gollum in the chapter Riddles In The Dark from The Hobbit. Another takes cue from the song Meat by Poppy. 

Immortal improbability:

A monumental morgue,

Even if hidden under rubble

or the sea

To infinity

Into nothing

Earth will be engulfed,

Entropy eats up everything,

Even the bursting black hole gamma beams

All crumbles,

Time minces bone and grinds mountains down

Old or new, what is learned is gone after high noon

Like meat minced between teeth, too much too soon

Acid eating it away

A carcass consuming then gone all the same

Plugged into life support machinery;

Misery and joy—

All ordinary is temporary:

Hoping as much as loathing a possible repeat

Continued Criticisms: The Not-So Dark Side Of The 90s

I've continued watching the documentary series Dark Side Of The 90s from Vice and through that had continuous criticisms in my mind. Maybe not to the same degree as with the Talk Shows episode it started off with in giving information that is ostensibly incorrect in the historical lineage to modern politics from the era of turbulent trashy tabloid combat TV, but still absurd enough that my brain has this tick in it going, 'well, that doesn't seem so dark, or accurate;' as well as just flat out overall things incoherent to my brain. So, in having finished through the fourth episode of the first season out of three; this is what I have to say on episodes two, three and four.

Episode 2: The Viper Room: Hollywood's Sanctuary

This second episode surrounds a Los Angeles venue in the 1990s that was bought and ran by Johnny Depp. In that it kept with and as it's told had almost 924 Gilman air to it, there wasn't a more posh attitude to it and in spite of a celebrity owner kept an eclectic variety of acts and attendees throughout its time under his thumb: from burlesque to grunge and talks with Hunter S. Thompson, it had everything. 

What is the focal point of this overview how it is the spot which River Phoenix died on the doorsteps of after taking a drink that was possibly spiked then collapsing. As the story goes, the young man was prone to drug usage when he was in the city of LA and the autopsy report following the incident detailed to have found cocaine, heroin and morphine in his system at the time of his death. Now, that isn't to say he wasn't also served a spiked cocktail, but that seems a fancy excuse for what was otherwise a drug addict, the same as those who try obfuscating that from Kurt Cobain's story. On some level it is a typical tale of adolescent actors and odd upbringings from a cult background, similar to Rose McGowan as she told in her book Brave. Simultaneously and like Cobain however, this youthful stardom is the reason why his death is as much a spectacle as the films he acted in and life was. It's not as if a drug overdose in LA was an abnormal or crazy thing; even in a low point during the early years of the 1990s and spiking back up again following his death and continuing so through the decade. 

Episode 3: TV For Teens

This one is by far the most intriguing so far; however makes the an error over and over again, in spite of rejecting that narrative from the start, where those speaking make the claim the shows they made could never be made in the current day, or the days of 2021 specifically. As if South Park hasn't been on the screen for almost 30 years now, or It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia doesn't pull the strings humorously of every taboo these series can get their hands on. 

According to those interviewed as part of this epoch, who had been actors on these series, the point of these series was to talk to the realities of the youth as opposed to gilded gleams of sanitised life. Yet all was trivial, nothing expressed was anything that couldn't be portrayed today; whether people would tune in, depends on how well it is portrayed and if the creators can understand talking to as different from talking down on. But, it's the "generation" bashing that goes on ad-infinum. 

Now, I can understand personally having a distaste for such directed media, but from all around eras rather than just the one I exist in, with little exception. For example of that exception, I'll always love Malcolm In The Middle, the first 20 years or so of The Simpsons and original 21 Jump Street series; but even in that none of these spoke or speak to me beyond entertainment. The realities depicted and animated don't speak to me in those as modern depictions of younger lives never have and I find much of it still gilded nonetheless; hence why my real affinity goes towards something like Kevin Smith's excellent depiction of my own lived reality in Clerks and Mallrats, even prior to living that life.

Episode 4: Beanie Babies Go Bust

Obviously the topic is the title. In this and like the last episode, there's nothing dark aside typical rich tax fraud. I'm really not sure there's much of a 'dark side' to the lot of these beyond selective judgement. But in delving into the creation of eBay, where it could be really dark by most people's standards is the burgeoning of true crime memorabilia— 'murderbilia'— on the platform that was eventually banned as a result of people like Andy Kahn. But the episode is focused on the craze around a commercialized commodity, an event not uncommon by any means, or terribly dark.

Down the Rabbit Hole & Over The Rainbow

OAUG Research Notes

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a bottle on it ("which was certainly not there before," said Alice), and tied around the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed on it in large letters.
It was all very well to say "Drink Me," but wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," she said, " and see whether it's marked 'poison' or not"; for she had read several stories about children who had got burnt, eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules her friends had taught her...
However, this bottle was not marked "poison," so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice... she very soon finished it off.
[...]
And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely garden.

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found a very small cake, on which the words "EAT ME" were beautifully marked in currents.
[...]
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

The bottle shrank Alice down to less than a foot while the cake grew her incredibly tall— 9 feet, to which she only shrank again as a result of tears.

I think there's some connection here in a few areas: the rabbit hole is like the tornado in the Wizard of Oz as in Carrol's book it leads to Wonderland just as the natural disaster brings Dorothy to the land of Oz. To the point of poison then, it's somewhat akin to The NeverEnding Story II.

Where this comes into Marilyn Manson is mostly twofold; as One Assassination Under God has been likened as 'Eat Me, Drink Me fully realized', an album characteristically based on the story of Alice In Wonderland mixed with Nabikov's Lolita, sort of similar to the 1976 pornographic adaptation of Lewis Carrol's books Alice In Wonderland - An X-Rated Fantasy, with the added elements of vampirism and high ends of low in obsessive love and loss; but in regards to the Wizard Of Oz there's the allusions to the story in the title track of Chapter One with, "just monkey's will be left to fly," and then the poppy field imagery in the music video for the lead single As Sick As The Secrets Within. 

The key to the garden's tiny door, maybe sort of similar to the beginning lines of Lucifer's Teardrop on Chapter Two, though that would seem to harken back more to Deep Six from The Pale Emperor... At the same time however, it's also a song (Lucifer's Teardrop) that could be seen in the lense of Oz, a trickster like those characters focused on in the Portrait Of An American Family era. Lucifer is somewhat likened or analagous to Loki, a trickster entity from a certain perspective of viewing these Satans...

Some Conclusions and Further Consideration for more research

Now having finished reading Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, my theory of a parallel to the Wizard of Oz has been proven correct in a certain regard: at the end of Lewis Carrol's first glimpse of this fantastical world of nonsensical logic and overarching card deck royalty, Alice is awoken from this by her sister and it was all merely a dream. This is similar to (at least the film adaptation of) the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy is whisked away to this merry old land of Oz in this tornado, and after an exciting adventure finds her way home to awaken in bed from this dream, having bumped her head during the ordeal of the natural disaster...

Now, I probably should reread the Wizard Of Oz as it's been about a decade since I last went through the pages of that book; I think it was in fifth grade I last did so. But as of now, I will read the second part of Alice's story in Through The Looking-Glass... the title reminds me now of the movie Arthur And The Invisibles.

The pile of books beside by bed shrinks.

Turbulent Talk Shows

I began watching a docuseries from Vice called Dark Side Of The 90s where in its opening episode the topic covered is that of outrageous talk shows like Oprah, Geraldo, Sally Jesse Raphael and most notably on all given accounts being that of The Jerry Springer Show; with the explanation that the only one to really predate this style of tabloid trash TV being Phil Donahue. Now, I can buy into that to a certain degree and understand this series is about the 1990s, however it's a travesty and incorrect to say that Phil Donahue was where credit is due here and that would go to the Father of Combat TV and his Hot Seat: Wally George.

Wally George was the archetypal layout for all of those sensational shouting matches between the host and guests, and including the audience in the racket in the inflammatory interactions. The end of the first episode of the Dark Side Of The 90s makes this even more apparent in his legacy in pointing that this style of television evolved into reality TV that eventually lead to both the 2016 and 2024 US presidential election turnouts with Donald J. Trump's victory in both instances— spoken to in a more derogatory manner than the talk shows and as if The Apprentice star's rise to political prominence was that of some exclusive phenomenon; when Ronald Reagan was also a silver screen star with a somewhat similar flare to Trump in the debates leading to their elections. 

Nonetheless in diagnosing this phenomenon Nikolas Schreck seems to nail it on the head and in a 2013 article he gave the explanation that: 

It was like [Wally] was a microcosm of Hollywood taking over politics. In a way, it could seem harmless or like it was just a joke, but when we were actually in the studio, and Wally was presenting me as a scapegoat for all societal ills . . . the audience was whipped into a genuine frenzy. They did not take it as a joke, and it felt very dangerous to be there. It's easy to think that he was a humorous phenomenon, but it was part of the whole. There was a very violent craziness to the '80s that I don't think Americans can remember exactly how it was. I went to a Ronald Reagan rally in 1984, and I sensed that same inherent violence. You know the novel Lord of the Flies? It reminded me of that.

Schreck was on Wally George's Hot Seat a couple of times, as well as appearing on his radio show for his gothic death rock project Radio Werewolf and in a more recent podcast episode of Parallax Views w/ J.G. Michaels from January 2025 noted that while Wally cemented this archetype for the shows that came about in the 1990s, he was also to a certain extent predated even in that with Joe Pyne. The difference being with the two however was Wally was more idealogical and akin to that style of combat content which grew Ben Shapiro or the now late Charlie Kirk into prominency. It wasn't for some level of deep political thinking or analysis that such was or is popular, but like with Reagan or Trump, in their catch phrases and one-liner insults. 

With that emphasis then that these pieces of tabloid television being what evolved into the expressly disliked president, it seems then that the real reason of excluding George was one in the same: the label of conservative. That being said however and as Schreck expresses in the podcast, it's hard to fully characterise either as being so conservative, and more like snake oil salesmen and showbiz figures. They put on a spectacle and make a good buck off the dupes stupid enough to buy into it; as that would seem almost symptomatic to the American population broadly in this vapidity. 

Evolving from this style and in the more intermediary period of decades, and aside reality TV, came about other similar styles of media. On major networks there were shows like Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher, also transmutating into the shock jock style that came into abroad with Howard Stern which then laid inspiration for the first podcasts like Three Ring Radio; that then leading into the Joe Rogan Experience and the landscape seen accumulated now 40 years after Wally George began.

Stained Grass

This is a short poem somewhat inspired by the lyrics of Marilyn Manson's song Don't Answer The Door. 

This is only a game under stained grass

Frayed bombshell bunker for laymen

Picturesque in frozen frame

Stagnant in time, sinuses bleeding out in real-time

Tears unheard while screaming in vain rhyme schemes

Cruel Concessions

This poem serves as an extension of The Gifts of Emotion and Cruelty. It is not an answer by any means, in either piece of writing; merely observation and exploration. 

Cruelty, hedonistic calamity

Sweet sadistic gift,

Suicidal malignity

Succinct in lasting grief and confused clarity;

Truculent remnants of barbarity,

Severe within mindfully meditated savagery;

Vicious curiosity spoon-fed as eye candy—

Merciless malevolence:

Not necessarily a killing spree;

Fell, foul ferocity—

This is only a game don't you see?

Colosseum cattiness just a car crash—

Scarring intentional incidents and unintended tragedy;

"Off with her head," a royal Red Queen decrees,

Senseless while sensual, who is the enemy?

Satisfaction in cannibalistically inflicted misery:

Emotional enmity guaranteed?

A Small Glimpse Into My OAUG Analysis Study

I have six total pages of notes on the title track for One Assassination Under God alone from the last day now. I think I've got the ultimate analysis brewing; plus the recent addition of You Can't Die Young as an expanded edition to the songs on Chapter 2 now raises the era to totalling 20 songs, as I also include the cover of In The Air Tonight-- not so much As Sick As The Secrets Of (Sleep) though as it's merely a remix of As Sick As The Secrets Within. I'm also considering putting God Is A Weapon, the collaboration with Falling In Reverse, in with it as well seeing as it was made and released within this timeframe and Manson's part in it, while echoing Ronnie Radke's, also seems to sing to other numbers like Meet Me In Purgatory and Enantiomorph...

Under God, Understood by Marilyn Manson

This is just a small fraction of what I have in regards to the title track, One Assassination Under God.

"Some of the inspiration when I was writing the words to this was drawn from a collection I had started building up of images that I identified with. There were a lot of Caravaggio paintings and others of that era, depicting various types of beheadings, executions of all sorts, firing squads. There was one illustration I saw where a horse was tied to each limb of the person they were killing and it ripped the person apart when the horses were set free. There was another one in which a person was sewn into a live animal and then it was set free to run off of a cliff. That one was really disturbing and for whatever reason I really identified with that one. One thing that I did notice though when I was looking at all these images is that it seemed to me that it was less about justice for the crowds of people involved in these things. It was more about the desire to see blood and to see suffering."

Judith Beheading Holofernes, Caravaggio, 1598

Dramatic, cinematic, militaristic as well as melancholic encapsulation of moments past, present and future. Assassination. Assassin-Nation. A nation of assassins. 

I have a bunch more, as I said many pages of notes beyond; this merely serving as a bit of an archive or a teaser to show a bit of it all, sort of like I did with the Unalive notes; but as I already know, in total so far I have much more than anyone else so far and I'm keeping it relatively on the hush beyond much vague alliteration here and there; as it makes more sense altogether, but I can certainly leave clues about some clues can't I. Needless to say with that then, boy-o she's a sain't like Jackie-O.