untitled ∞

One poem out of various I wrote with inspiration from the song Drugstore Perfume by Gerard Way. I read it aloud in this video here: 

Anyway as for the actual poem here it is written down. I did tweak it a bit since.

Displeased,

Disparaging covers

Cohesive struggles

Ungluing truthful discoveries

in lifted metaphors,

For every chapter of lived

suffering and satisfactory destitution;

To exist abound,

down and around out of town

Rainy-cover, dancing under clouds before dawn

Far beyond evening

Annoyances away with the day gone

Eating The Law: A Cannibals Guide to the Justice System by Claudia Berdella & ChicoryRed

Common perception sees the act of cannibalism as that of an extreme taboo, or absolute last resort option of obtaining sustenance in a survival scenario. Aside the completely natural history it has and be that as it may, with the exception of the state of Idaho there is no jurisdictional or federal prohibition against the act of cannibalism in the United States. Obviously where the practice would be foiled is in the methods of obtaining the meat to consume, even if it's consensually permitted; it amounts to murder, the desecration of a corpse or health hazard— even in the hypothetical case of a suicide where the cadaver is bequeathed with instructions/allowance is for such a purpose. That may be so, but there is still a way to do it legally in reality.

Extreme body modification is a world which exists within its own area of legal ambiguity. While it is not quite lawful in regards to certain practices, namely with acts like nullification— where a body part, typically an erogenous zone, is removed for aesthetic purposes— it isn't wholly illegal if done by a licensed medical professional. Typically done by the individual wishing to have the cosmetic adoption but not impossible to find a health official with such a proper expertise to do so.

In the instances of surgery which require the removal of a limb, it's not wholly out of the ordinary for the patient to be allowed to keep the severed ligature; though in that there is a lot of bureaucracy involved and it's easier to keep smaller appendages like a finger or toe. Sure, in regards to bodily alteration it's more dubious and then one may have to travel overseas to have the wished gone part hacked off, however then it's a customs dispute more than anything in taking it back to dish up given it's technically considered the transportation of biological matter. However, when back on home soil and with the removed ligature, there's as mentioned, no law that would prevent eating of it aside from personal discretion.

Spider-Man Brand New Day Review

As with much of the common sentiment seen online around discussion involving the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I have had a sort of fatigue by and large in its regard ever since the aftermath of Avengers Endgame, with some exception here and there. Sure, I saw the Thunderbolts movie in theaters twice, but that was for less than enjoyable reasoning and irrelevant to today. That said, last night on its second day of running I went to see the latest in its storylines: Spider-Man Brand New Day and found myself with some of the most enjoyment I've had with the superhero genre in years, and plan on seeing it one more time in theaters when I can.

The marketing team did a good job in concealing the actual plot, only showing snippets of scenes which occurred in really the only first half an hour to 45 minutes of the movie and by doing so subverting all expectations of what would happen; especially in regards to the actual character played by Stranger Things star Sadie Sink. In spite of what is probably already out there online, I won't spoil it either at it's part of the fun of going to see the movie and would ruin part of the allure and story which is absolutely worth the watch. As a continuation of the tale that began being spun in Captain America: Civil War, it serves as an excellent chapter in Tom Holland's variation of the web slinger.

With that end I only have a few gripes and one question with it all. Firstly with the character that Sadie Sink played it essentially took the same sort of story already presented in the Black Widow movie and succeeding Hawkeye one-season series on Disney+ as well as the aforementioned and continuing Thunderbolts movie. Secondly with the other gripe, the end post-credit scene shows Ned's Spidey-Tracker app showing the vigilante off-planet once again to seemingly hint at an upcoming Avengers movie, which would hypothetically just restart the whole cycle this movie decided to do away with and remove the more grass-roots Spider-Man being built. Then as for my question, if Ned's muscle-memory kicked in and rejuvenated his mind with their shared secret handshake then why did similar not work with MJ? 

Stupidity & Spiritual Pipe Dreams

 

"… I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But as much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking... 

The world is so exquisite... that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence." 

—Carl Sagan, Parade Magazine, March 10, 1996

I was listening to (yet another) interview with the artist Nick Cave where the topic of spirituality was discussed in conjunction with the idea of stupidity. Expressing distaste of labelling the irrationality that is posited by those of the more strictly atheistic variety in regards to the conceptualisation of some higher universal power(s). Conceding that by admitting the rational standard, it's hard to argue against that framework, however in that, it misses the mark based on much of what is deemed irrational is so nonetheless and that's part of the metaphysical or abnormal framework; with the universe being so vast and a mystery which we humans only have a limited comprehension of even with and in spite of progress in scientific understanding. Going on then Cave and the host expand that obviously many things in say, Biblical lore, are disputable, but in the more hardline negations attempt to remove any sort of artistry or value in stories and concepts as absurd and implausible as they may be.

Even then in negation, from any point would add to these ideas to some extent. Be it an apprehension against the Abrahamic framework or Greco-Roman pantheons, whichever mythology one leans into or away from in such a vehement approach somewhat lends into stemming from or into it all the same— it's not so black and white. From the desecration of Olympian temples or Varg Vikernes torching churches something is taken out of what is disgusted. Now that is obviously not to say these things lend or detract credibility to improvable faiths as opposed to the reality of merely adding to their lineage or human history as a whole. Ultimately what is being said here is that there's value in both positions, even in spiritual pipe dreams and it's too broad of an assumption to make either way around without having to as much question one's own position in arguing for or against.

"All religions of a spiritual nature are inventions of man. He has created an entire system of gods with nothing more than his own carnal brain. Just because he has an ego and cannot accept it, he has had to externalize it into some great spiritual device which he calls 'God'... 

... but no law states that an externalized god is necessary... He can no longer view himself in two parts, the carnal and the spiritual, but sees them merge into one, and to his abysmal horror, discovers they are only the carnal— AND ALWAYS WERE!"

—Anton LaVey, The Satanic Bible

Being one in the same and as Madonna sung, "living in a material world," is the human and conscious life not a form of the universe experiencing itself? Would it not mean carnality is the highest form of spirituality? Is it not fascinating that this may seem to necessitate near-endless inquiry? How did evolution come to this point of cognitive capacity and why are we the only species to such a degree of development, what's the purpose of it? Even with those questions and by all accounts, gods and whatever sort of divinity as humanity prescribes them likely are in all ways that of projection of personal attributes— desires and dislikes—but even in that doesn't wholly disprove the vast cosmos from having undiscovered and yet to be understood forces. Whether they're divine, conscious or whatever they're around; whether they're interpreted in said metaphysical fashion is in the mind of the beholder given there is no official capital T truth that isn't to an extent debatable, and we only know as much in what we do not know.

All that to say what it seems the Bad Seeds frontman was expressing is similar to that of what is presented in The NeverEnding Story, whereby letting that adolescent imagination die and ceasing to genuinely ask what, how and why in place of a presupposed and more solipsistic form of self-deceit masked as skepticism or total authority is a sad oversight which goes nowhere.

CHAOS Chapters 4 & 5: Enormously Informational, Small Summary

Given the increasing magnitude of information in these two chapters of CHAOS, the analysis and summaries I do of them will be dependant on how much I'm able to gleam from them with prior knowledge and analogous information. Primarily what I detail on the matter is my own summaries and brought upon thoughts on the book; like with Bacchanalian, where I detail and use that to my own end in understanding. These chapters however delve into territory that, while I've heard names and various ideas thrown about before (namely from Nikolas Schreck), don't necessitate my own grandiose exposé on the matter in conjunction with what is already in the Tom O'Neill's book which I do recommend reading at this point as it is quite a unique insight into the Manson Mythos in of itself.

The fourth chapter was primarily about Terry Melcher and Cielo Drive happenings largely stemming from what the property owner during those years could recall going on, prior and after Tate and Polanski moving in.

Chapter five regards the convolution on the LASO's behalf in the case. Having conducted the what is still the largest raid in the jurisdiction as well as state of California history on Spahn Ranch and the family on August 16, 1969 and keeping a diligant eye, reporting on the observable ongoings of the Family while letting them off the hook seemingly ad infinum in spite of Manson's consistent parole violations. Toward the end of the chapter is it then finally brought up the idea that Charles Manson could have been some sort of informant to some unknown agency; or even a pawn allowed to do his business based on recounted disdain with a dash of fear of the Black Panther Party.

My ranking of the Saw franchise

1. 3

2. X

3. 2

4. 1

5. 6

6. 4

7. 5

8. 7

9. Jigsaw

10. Spiral

July 27, 2026: Saw, Symptoms, Suffering; Peaky Blinders, Might & Greek Tragedy

Four years ago now on this day I embarked with my internet partner in crime Baphy Myers as he went by then and Xulf the pipe smoking raccoon to do a 24 hour broadcast via discord called The Infernal Church Special. We did it in imitation and as a cap off of a whole summer of streaming old radio shows produced by Shane Bugbee; from the first infamous 24 hour radio broadcast in internet history known as the Might Is Right Special along with its MLK Day 2005 sequel Radio Jihad to the Crime Cast series and even all 48 hours worth of ThisIsMania. Capping off what we titled the Summer of Bugbee and originating largely from my mind was our own continuation of this lineage, with the aforementioned discord broadcast of our own which had the final hours be that of an exclusive interview with the last person to interview Anton LaVey...

But, that's neither here nor there as today is today and that was another day past. 

I've embarked on what seems to be a similar project to last year when I wrote about Saw, the Sith and power philosophies, however this time rather than solely focusing on the intersections between the Sith as portrayed in the Star Wars video game Knights Of The Old Republic II and pitfalls within certain philosophical positions relating to excessive egoism, with more a focus in line with this idea of suffering as part of the human experience and how the Saw franchise serves as an example to these things. So it would seem then that this posit regarding suffering as an innate part of the human experience would be true; however I have to question then if that is symptomatic as a whole as Efilism would claim— and I do substantially disagree with the conclusions of— to all conscious lifeforms, or is it specific to the cognitive capacity and environment that can be comprehended to said species? And with that where does the capacity for empathy within and beyond one's own species come about, as Nick Cave details? Do loved house pets suffer or are they content? 

Nonetheless then with a similar strand of thought I also have been wondering if it could it be so possible that while mental health is far more of a recognized concern, that concern simultaneously causes more issues as diagnosis becomes self defining? Sort of how Emil Cioran observed solipsism in suffering, constantly searching for better verbiage. In the same vein then: I wonder how much certain issues are— or can be— contagiously acquired by proxy rather than innate or naturally developed. To steal an analogy from Smiles, who runs Satanism Central on discord— spend enough time sifting through needles, you’ll probably get pricked and catch something icky. With that then, how much of it becomes an excuse for certain actions as opposed to an explanation? 

I think then it might pair with something I’ve been considering that seems a trend with neurodivergent people; being that, there's something suspicious about the whole neurodivergent trend and self-perpetuated infantalization. Monkey see monkey do? Which isn’t to say certain things aren’t there prior to diagnosis (self or professional), but after it would seem things get more intense and things not visible or there prior pop up...

But anyway, I've since finished the first of the original two out of the ten movies in the Saw franchise— and I do include Spiral even though many seem to shy away from it as it is technically from the book of Saw, as the title proclaims— with its torture-porn-gore-galore intertwined with what is an interesting philosophical posit as reasoning for these games and traps made in order for the unwitting and often unwilling participants to begin valuing life, in spite of its suffering states. This project as a whole, I'm ultimately unsure where it will actually go though it is primarily asking what the effects of suffering are on a social conditions for a fundamentally social animal. 

In conjunction and stemming from that and my last full writing on the topic of Suffering, Sympathy, Solipsism & Cornflakes is my fascination with the artist Nick Cave. I've heard a lot of his music this year, primarily in driving about Chicago his music was common-played on the car stereo; and obviously with my viewing of the British-gangster based series Peaky Blinders during the first four seasons and the heavy inclusion of Cave as the main theme with Red Right Hand. I finished Peaky Blinders on Sunday with watching it's capping off movie Immortal Man; and with that have some routes to take with that too. In regards to Nick Cave though, I heard him speaking on Bella Freud's podcast Fashion Neurosis on the Enneagram personality model, which ironically is the book I'm using to hold up my notebook as I jot this down, and haven't ever read but a few pages— but given that it regards personality I'm curious how it could intertwine with the social effects that suffering produces in affect. I find then that Peaky Blinders itself is similar in many ways to the blowfish metaphor which characterises Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul in its intersection with Might Is Right, and that being and as mentioned in the Cillian Murphy leading series various times this idea of those living by the sword and dying by it; and in relation not necessarily to the Biblical position in regards to this as that book is way to contradictory to take seriously on most of its philosophical posits, but to what seems the origin in the Greek tragedy of Agamemnon by Aeschylus. As much as it would then seem true too by these depictions, I also question that given this whole ethos of 'an eye for an eye making the world blind' is by my view a logical inconsistency in of itself, would the real issue be envy as Machiavelli prescribed it? 

Now I sit here with an intermission to Saw and from what seems major philosophical and psychological inquiries to watch the Bob Odenkirk movie Nobody 2. I remember watching the first installment at the table in the basement in Chicago. I can see why it's likened to John Wick, though in my opinion has more of a similarity to the Bruce Willis RED duology...

out-grew

First things last,

Oxygen and deathly gasp

Pervasive and prolific—

Past assertive verdict

Delayed decay, what a wonderful—

Day, finally arriving to play

Imaginary determining canary;

Coffee and clear headspace

Longview without paradise or—

Reward while deader on the other side of

the only way out being in and through

What to do, when it's all out-grew;

Madness, ballyhoo

Suffering, Sympathy, Solipsism & Cornflakes

I was writing about a short homemade half an hour movie on the ideology of Efilism the other day, critically considering it and its posit about suffering; being that because of this fact of existence all is innately horrible and conscious life itself is an evil happenstance. Tonight then, I stumbled across a website ran by the artist Nick Cave called The Red Hand Files, which from what I can gather and as is the stated intention on the site, is there as a way for the artist and fans to have a one-way channel of communication between them; in order to answer respective inquiries. Within this, one of the more recent and dated from January of this year (2026) stands out on the matter of suffering and the human experiencing, asking Cave if he thinks that, "humans have to suffer before harnessing genuine human sympathy?"...

For the full article I wrote read it here on Patreon.

Review of CNN's The Salisbury Poisonings: A Spy Next Door Documentary

I watched this recent CNN documentary on the 2018 Salisbury nerve agent attacks. In summation what happened at its onset and as the film explains: on March fourth of that year, Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia were hospitalised after being discovered unresponsive on a public park bench in what was initially believed to have been a drug overdose and admitted and taken to ICU immediately where both wound up surviving, as opposed to the second similar occurrence on July eighth later that year wherein after spraying the perfume capsule hiding the deadly chemical was not so lucky. Three people were arrested in suspicion and with ties to the Russian president, personally, and for allegedly being who administering the chemical A-234 of the Navichok family of nerve agents developed under the Soviet Union's FOLIANT program onto the four firsthand victims.

The documentary makes the story itself largely irrelevant in actuality in order to make the matter as a whole about why one should find the formerly Soviet state of Russia untrustworthy under the autocratic and authoritarian regime of its president Vladimir Putin. Spliced between this being that of Wikipedia level general information on the chemical attacks, while the vast majority goes onto attempt to ingrain this sentiment onto the viewer and takes more time on that and the idea Putin has a wish to revive the USSR than it does on the case. Such is merely a half truth and a largely convoluted one given the Russian president himself has never actually stated anything explicitly to that matter, rather expressing a wish to reunify former Russian territory and where the populations already in most ways would be culturally, ethnically and linguistically Russian to create a new Greater Russia; stating to the matter himself that, while the collapse of the Soviet state was the, "greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the 20th Century," that, "Anyone who doesn't regret the passing of the Soviet Union has no heart. Anyone who wants it restored has no brains." With that and the convolution of things such as the Minsk Accords and various attempts throughout Putin's early leadership at merging with NATO which was humoured but with a look at the history, clearly never actually going to happen for need of a boogeyman and, who in reality, broke their deal not to expand closer to the Russian land mass first and even prior to the subsequent conflicts from 2008 to now with the current war in Ukraine. 

Touching on the matter in light detail of Sergei Skripal himself being formerly a Russian military intelligence official who, in 1995 began working as a double agent on behalf of MI6 until the early 2000s. He was caught, tried and convicted in 2004, serving six years out of a sentence of thirteen years when he was released during a 2010 spy-swap negotiation-agreement between the West and Russia. Paired with the air of the whole documentary being the black and white pandering of simply 'Russia Bad' is an oversight of the West's own history of executing agents of espionage; and as a major example the case of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg who where convicted of giving the USSR nuclear secrets and resultingly executed by the electric chair. Difference in this being of course, the two had been on United States soil in doing so while if Russia is truly the culprit as the suspects in the matter are of that affiliation with the 2018 scenario, crossed many borders in order to do so; however they are still only alleged crimes to their end and nothing has been set in stone yet as of 2026, two years shy of a decade later. 

Obviously no two people, as with no nations either, are required by any means to get along. It does however seem a journalistic oversight not to be asking that if it ultimately proves to have been a Russian terror attack and with accumulated conflict with the nation, why said country is the way it is? Saying Putin was bullied as a youth and that's why he is how he is, as one speaker in the CNN documentary claims, really just doesn't cut it at all. Case in point being, the documentary ultimately fails in its subject matter for a focus on international polarisation.