Part of the prerogative in Neurotic Nihilism’s broad thesis is the learning to be my own battery without burning myself out; and if I do, how to use even that as fuel.
Turning the negative into a positive, as it’s being used, “every day, every minute, whether we realize it or not. It is much better for us to acknowledge its power and use it constructively than it is to permit it to tear down the physical bodies in which we live to create conditions in our lives that do not tend to bring […]” anything valuable to personal progress. Echoing Carl Jung when he said, “we cannot change anything unless we accept it,” so while I might, “hate my weaknesses; they made me who I am” as much as my strengths.
Cynically, like Shubunka in the 1947 film The Gangster, “My sins? My sins are that I wasn’t tough enough. I wasn’t low or dirty enough. I should have trusted no one, never loved a girl. I should have smashed first. That’s the way the world is.” The way it is, is so seemingly pointless. Aphrodite is married to Hephaestus but completed by Ares. Wherein they are singularly superseded and met in Athena: beauty, brains and brawn. What is Might if not momentary? How long is a moment?
The answer, is in the gaps between. The void filled by ‘surrogate activities’ to avoid insignificance.
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Gaap (or in some instances Tap or Caap) is the 33rd spirit in highlighted in the Lesser Key of Solomon’s translation of the Goetia. Symbolizing consistently across all historical accounts an imperative on the incitement of hate and love. As Gaap is detailed in the Goetia, with an emphasis on the aforementioned, and a bestower of knowledge and ignorance— which are tied to love and hate albeit but neither are mutually exclusive to one or the other.
That the name of Gaap is what it is, is unique in my mind. Gaap, like gap. Gap, like that of an abyss. Famous is the line about staring into the abyss…
No matter how one puts it, the universe as we think of it came from a gap. The Greeks viewed it as a cosmic sludge called Khaos. There is a fear of an empty void. The comedy is, the void, gap and abyss are all one and the same metaphor. All are tools for understanding under different lenses— the void for the pointless disparity and abyss to contemplate in order to fill in the gaps; or some combination thereof.
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One spoon at a time.
That’s might. It’s not perpetual strength; which is meaningless without a mind to put it to use. Aleister Crowley referred to every man and woman as a Star; Stars burn out and die. Some collapse in spectacle into singularities. Black holes that sustain their momentum like Darth Nihilus by feeding off everything around them. Eventually releasing it all in violent gamma bursts. Burning out in the end. “The greater the star, the more violent its demise.”
All in the void of space.
Holding it together a balance of subatomic particles. Adding one electron to the atoms of the universe would instantly polarize everything to a negative charge— an imbalance— then rip the entire universe apart instantaneously.
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What is the balance for my battery? I don’t know, but Neurotically,
“Today I will go once againInto life, into haggling, into market,And to lead the army of my songsTo duel against the market tide.”
Pointless point[s].
Neurotically Nihilistic, can you hear the jouir in the music?
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