40 pages

There’s only some forty more pages left to fill in this notebook I got back in January. On average it seems I go through around that many pages a week, give or take days and papers. Anyway I decided to do a 40 line poem as a way to coincide with the limited time. 

One week sleeps into late day, two nights all awake—

Third much of the same, occasionally crashing into a comatose state,

Conscious again before too long, too much too soon;

Too little and too early, why bother finding party or comradery?

What’s truly bothering is the practicality of a purple pen—

Smooth and spitting out ink, cleaned out down to the last drop…

Time moves rapidly in frozen mind-play:

Past and present blur as a future momentarily concurs,

Blots and smeared papers, stained hand sides,

For my own private eyes  

Live a little, die a thousand times and revive: rewrite

Scribbling out stupidities, evident mistakes—

Shown shit-shot, candid calamity and beautiful brevity,

Youthful nuisances, minded turbulence: reconfigured truths—

Re-arranged attitudes and unconscious allusions; 

Cat-curious amidst confusion;

Point on paper unleashing recreation:

Pint of this, hint of that— interpersonal correlation,

Odd lack of initial understanding— 

Constant conceptual mining

Minced misunderstandings, collected intellectual entropy—

Cultivated clarity with continual correction,

Biological computer, handwritten invigoration;

Sober and stoned, added combined comprehension,

Cautious perception in cynical self-recognition—

Pattern-porn checkered and torn:

Poured out passion; scripted convictions,

Contradicted end-missions;

Shredded shrink, dipped feet loosely sink

Persisting proof, grandiose and grotesque:

Banal bullshit and gray gaiety—

Spills, savored sips of ever-intaken coffee,

Ingested liquid-literary sanity;

Black envy and calmly smoking,

Eloped knowing with missing a million marks—

Paper pulpit, flammable consultant;

Frayed flames, stoked dust long after the smoke

Indifferently uplifting self-psychoanalysis

Forty more pages to fill and never miss